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Monday, November 29, 2010

Things I Miss Right Now

I am having a "not so hot" kind of day. While doing the dishes I came to a conclusion that I am missing some things.Some things I can get back, some its too late for and will never come back again for one reason or another.
So here is the list of things I miss.

1. Silver Dollar pancakes made by someone else just for me.
2. Sitting in his garage on a summer day "Cooling our heels".
3. "Always wear socks with your shoes".
4. "Thou dost protest too much".
5. Real family holidays, the ones where you trek from Grandparent to Grandparent.
6. Dooleys in Long Beach.
7. The smell of the station wagon.
8. Hunting with my dad.
9. Random driving or for that matter just exploring.
10. Riding in the car with my Mom.
11. The Red and White albums on a Saturday morning.
12. Hearing my mom say "Dad" in a little girl tone when being "talked to".
13. Tricycles with streamers on the handles and a bell.
14. Country air with the faint smell of chimney smoke.
15. Home made sugar free cookies for dogs.
16. Crafting with Grandma.
17. Mowing the lawn with Grandpa.
18. "Push mowers do a better job.".
19. My oldest at age 5.
20. Everything and everyone that is gone or too far away.
21. Disneyland with just my sister and I.
22. Sitting on the back of my Dads motorcycle going a bazillion miles an hour.
23. The little brown eyed girl that was always "my girl".
24. Lightning bugs.
25. The "Jolly Jump Up" back firing on Halloween.
26. Optimism
27. Laughing
28. Singing even if it was off key
29. Round Table Fridays
30. Friends in high school that would tell me when I was being a "dumbass".

It looks like a long list right? Trust me there is so much more. The biggest thing I think I miss is my life. The one I had when I was a kid, the one I had when I was 20 and so on. I miss the people and the places and the smells and sounds and words. So yes, Im down a little, but I will be up again soon. I am remembering all the fun and good times and it puts a smile on my face while at the same time a tear in my eye. Weird isn't it that something brought so much laughter now brings a odd mix of sad and happy. Dunno.........it is what it is.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Religion Anyone?!?!?

I recently watched the Ben Stein show about religion, Darwinism, Intelligent Design theories or lack there of in education. Did I really understand what was going on with it? Probably not. Here are the two points I got from it though.

Intelligent Design is based on that someone, not necessarily God designed us and planted us here on this plant. No one knows who or when or how but according to this theory that is what happened. But here is where I get thinking. Human beings are so flawed and weak in the grand scheme of things really. I mean most of us are so flawed pollen sends us running so as to avoid having the sniffles. So "Intelligent"? No I think not. Of course with-in the Scientific Community this is not an acceptable theory and I think that is what Ben Stein was getting at. Not sure though.

Darwinism, well I just don't know about that one. I have not studied it (because ya know, it was not allowed in schools when I was a kid). All I know is that supposedly we came from the "primordial soup" turned into amoeba, then ape, then cromagnon, neanderthal, and then man today. I think its a great scientific exploration and really gets a mind thinking. Do I think it really happened like that? Who knows.

Here is the thing, the very next day, as if it were a sign from God himself a Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door. No folks this time I did not strip to the unmentionables and answer it swearing. (because I am a grown up now) She began by asking if I was confused about the unrest in the world and something about the recent elections. Did I think that if more people read the Bible these things wouldn't be happening? My brain went nuts. I explained that the unrest was due to "free will" and had nothing to do with God, the Bible or anything like that. I went further to explain that many of the world problems come from the intolerance, greed, nastiness and prejudices of people. She opened the Bible she was carrying. She was going to quote a scripture and I stopped her. I already knew where she was going and that what would follow would be her view of the passage. I explained to her that she need not read to me. I have been versed in the Bible since birth.

She then asked me if I was Atheist. Some of you know that I do not have Atheistic ideals, some of you don't. So here is the deal. I do not believe in "organized Religion" in the sense that to be a good religious person I have to go to church two or more times a week. I do not believe that my personal beliefs should be impressed upon anyone by going door to door and disturbing their household. I do not believe that any one Religion is the right way or the only way. I believe the Bible and all Religious texts should be taken at face value and not interpreted to suit your cause. I believe that Religion is a private matter between a person and their beliefs and their God. I told her this. She was taken back and had nothing left to say. She then gave me two Watch Towers to read. One read, "Is Atheism on the Rise?" I have no idea what the other one said as it went straight into the trash. (The Atheism one just happened to be on top). Am I being close minded? No, in my history are many Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics, Baptists, Mormons and Buddhists. I have read about and learned about them all. I have no desire to read something that is not the actual text and that was translated into a little pamphlet to suit a persons cause or stance.

I honestly am not prejudice against Religions. I believe that what ever path in life you take that makes you at peace, compassionate, non-harmful, loving and non-judgmental is the best path for you. I am against forcing views on others, translating texts to suit your cause, and calling other Religions wrong. Maybe all in all I am a humanist and compassionist. 

Do I care how we all began? Not really. How it all began is not as important as what you are doing while you are here. Is knowing how it all started going to change what you do today? Nope, probably not.

So Religion is what it is........I'm okay with what and who I am and where I will end, whatever place that may be.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

It's been a great month! I have thus far aced everything for school. YAY!


There has been a little drama at work. Lay-offs etc. I still have a job though. School is great, kids are great and I am sleeping good. Go figure. So in light of the fact I have really nothing to talk about I am posting a blog I wrote last year. I had a not so great life at the time and didn't sleep..... So here it is "INSOMNIA TIME!"



Current mood:Delirious
Category: Blogging
I have insomnia!

I get it a lot. It's kinda funny cause I lie to people and tell them I can't talk or text because I am going to bed. What I am really doing is thinking.

Here is what I think about:

1. I should really try to sleep!

2. Why the hell can't I sleep?

3. I hope I can pay those bills.



4. Can my grandpa see me from where he is?

5. If people can see us after they are dead do they get grossed out when we pick our noses or scratch our ass? For that matter do they see us when we use the lavatory?

6. Is he disappointed in me?

7. How come when I have insomnia there is no one else on the Internet?

8. What would happen if I got in my car and just drove away?

9. Why do I yawn even though I am still not tired?


10. Can that Cesar guy really fix all dogs or people or what ever?

11. Just like Tyler Durden said "insomnia is neither asleep nor awake".

12. I really love the movie Fight Club, but I am a chick so I probably shouldn't.


13. How can Ronnie fall asleep at the drop of a hat anywhere anytime?


14. Does anyone else wonder what would happen if you just drove off a cliff? I mean just to see if you would actually die or just get maimed?


15. Why is it when someone doesn't understand stuff you write the aliens are suddenly coming to take you away?

16. Why do I care so much if other people care about whats going on with my life?

17. Fuck everyone........I can fix my shit myself.

18. Mikes Hard Lemonade makes me wish I could drink.

19. Hey I'm getting tired!

20. Crap now I'm not........

21. hahahaha "What, like in the face?" "he he Surprise me.". I love that line from Fight Club.

22. How sadistic is it that I laugh at horror films......



23. Why the hell did I get dressed today??? Its not like I was gonna go anywhere and no one ever comes here anymore.


24. Why do my cats sleep all the time??? Seriously they sleep all day and well I see them sleeping all night too!

25. If all of my ex-boyfriends congregated in one spot at the same time would they hang an effigy of me???? 0.o
26. Wow I was seriously a stuck up bitch. Hmmm selfish really.
27. I wonder if I can find all those guys and apologize to each and every one of them?!?

28. Do they even really care anymore or remember?!?

29. Oooh Fight Club!!!
And that is just some of the stupid stuff that keeps me up. Stupid isn't it? And yes, Fight Club is on the tele right now.....Spike is running it back to back. Fuse ran it last night and I stayed up and watched it then too. I should probably go lay down and stare at the ceiling now. 
So there it is folks, a blast from the past. I am sure I will be annoyed by something really soon and write more about current events.........
Until then........... It is What It is!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Finally

Well I have finished my second class for school. All I can say is it was difficult. I actually had to look inward at myself and I hated it.

I had to take stock of my life. I figured out I was 38, had two kids, married twice and worked my touche off for nothing. I give my all to my family and my life revolves around them. No one respects me, I am a loser with a G.E.D. and a menial job.

Then I looked again. I was 38 and had been told on numerous occasions I looked 28. I have a 10 and 15 year old and have been told on numerous occasions I looked great and must be fibbing about the two kids and that there is no way in hell I have a 15 year old. I had gone through the toads and found a true Prince who loves me the way I am, psychosis and all. I am a hard worker who helps pay the bills and has never been fired from a job. I have 2 cars, own my house and pay my bills.

I looked further and found that I really care about my family and "sacrificing" things for them isn't really a sacrifice. I take pride in the help and love I have for my family and like doing everything I can to help them because they do the same for me. I have a family that needs me and loves me and that is one of the best feelings I can ever have.

A lot of people respect me even if I don't always feel that way. People ask for my advice, share their issues and listen when I talk. Sure maybe not my kids all the time. But when it comes down to it they know I am honest and up front and share my opinion when asked (and sometimes when not asked). Those are signs of respect.


So in retrospect it was a good class. I got an A and passed my final. Next up advanced computer software use.

It is what it is............. and I am good with that.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Billion Points Video Contest

Billion Points Video Contest: "Shop Your Way Rewards is giving away up to One Billion Points! Simply submit a 45-second video telling us how you'd use One Billion Points, and the Points could be yours to split with charities."

Friday, August 6, 2010

Your Opinion and My Ink

So okay, Im a work minding my business and helping customers.

I am ringing up one customer and the lady behind her is making noises like "ooo" and "tsk tsk". I figured she was just old or something and smiled and ignored it.

I finished with the first customer and it was the old ladys turn. I use the phrase "Lady" Very loosely. As Im ringing her up she is still making those noises and looking at my arms as if she was gonna have a full heart attack right there. So I just keep ringing. I get to the total and smile and say "$42.50 please." She proceeds to pretty much throw money at me. I still smile and say "Out of $43.00". As I hand her the change she suddenly says, "Why would you do that, you know when you get older that is just going to be a disgusting mess. You look like a biker whore. What are you going to do when your my age? You should pay and have them removed......". I was completely taken aback. I have never in my life had this response to my tattoos.
So I lunged across the counter, grabbed her by the throat and popped her head off like a pez dispenser.
Okay that is a lie. Instead I stood there and smiled and said "Oh, well that is your opinion. I personally like them and have never had anyone say anything like that to me about them." She said "Well they are ugly and you look like a dirty biker whore and when you turn eighty like me they will be a messy blob." She proceeded to show me her wrinkly arms and point out how gross she thought her skin was. I said "I'm almost forty and actually have decent genes and use moisterizer so..." And she cut me off and said "Those things are ugly anyway and you should get them removed!" I said "Well thanks for your opinion, have a nice day." and turned off the register and walked away while she continued to say things.

Here is my question. Here is what I wanted to say. "Who the fuck do you think you are to say anything about me? You have no clue who I am or what I am like. In what way am I a "dirty biker whore"? How would you like it if I walked up to you and called you a senile old bitty who has a fat ass and that all people over seventy should just off themselves because they are useless and have no place in society?" "Opinions are like assholes ya old bat, everyone has one but no one really wants to hear from it".

Yep, I was completely offended. The customer behind her was completely offended. She didn't have tattoos but ventured to say "What the hell gives that old bat the right to say anything to anyone?". I just laughed and said "Well she is entitled to her opinion." the customer said "I know where she can stick her opinion.".

This leads me to more thinking. What makes people think they have the right to say every little thought they have about another person that pops into their head? Seriously if I want your opinion I will ask for it and until then just keep it to yourself.

In reflecting on the incident I seem to recall this lady actually deliberately waited in my line. Another cashier had no one waiting and told the "lady" to come to her register and she said "No, I want to wait here.". This "lady" deliberately and with mallace of forethought sought me out and waited to tell me all the word vomit swimming in her head. She felt her opinion was so important and that I had to absolutely hear it. She knew I was trapped in that situation as I was at work and could not reply in the fashion I normally would have.

So that was my yesterday. I am still offended and taken aback by this lady.

Oh and sorry I swore so much in this.......I don't mean to offend anyone at all.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Rude Much?!? And School Work

Is it just me or do people seem to be getting ruder as the summer moves on?!?


I have been working just about every day since my last post. thought since it is Summer and customers should be happier just because they aren't driving in the rain and the days are longer. I thought wrong. I have been yelled at, told "I am never shopping here again!" and the infamous "The sign said 40% off. Not prices as marked." as well as "Your not very helpful" Oh the joys of retail. I promise to never be rude to a retail worker ever again (unless of course they are rude first). We have also implemented a new "No Receipt, No Return" policy and only exchanges for electronics. This of course has added to my joy of dealing with the customer.



People on the road are being even ruder too. I was trying to merge into traffic on the way home from work. I was shoved to the shoulder by some giant SUV. As it passed and I was flipped off I noticed on the back window and bumper a few stickers. One was the Christian fish, the other a NOTW. I was like "what the heck?!?" I drive a little mini cooper so really......




I decided it was time for a vacation. I had some serious school work I really needed to concentrate on. I was to write for my "Introduction to Online Learning" class. I had to explain how I juggled work, school, social etc. I had a hard time with this part. I don't over analyze my life, if I did I would probably run away. I don't over think how I handle things, I just handle them and get it done.





Then came the best part, I had to evaluate the Pareto Principal and explain if it applied to me. Really???? This is the rule that if you only do the "important" 20% of the work you can expect 80% in results. Of course they don't say what kid of results. What if they are crappy results, or the wrong results because somewhere in the unimportant 20% you didn't focus on was a really important detail. Honestly it just seemed like a lazy mans out to me. I mean seriously, the theory was invented by an Italian man who was surveying real estate in Italy. He observed that 20% of the population owned 80% of the land in his region. Seriously, then this little theory should apply to real estate or finances or something like that not daily life. I still don't really grasp the concept to be honest.



So I wrote the paper and really tried to do my best to explain my life, role in my family and that I do not think about the day to day or really plan it as my work schedule rules my life. I got an A on the paper believe it or not. The instructor said I did a great job and that he knew no matter what I would graduate with my Masters in no time.



At this time I am typing this and reinstalling Windows XP on C's laptop. It seems neither A or C can shut a computer down properly and they both like to just delete random files. Yes I want to pull my hair out and now they both know why I say no when they ask to use mine.




By the way I made all the images on here myself :)


So, it is what it is......

Friday, June 25, 2010

Busy Busy Busy

Hello there!

I have been super busy with school and work.

The up shot is that i have "A's" in my classes. I have been able to juggle my kids, education and job amazing well thus far. At first I thought I was going to fail my Word 2007 class. I thought other students were, well, lets just say not polite on the BBs. But they have mellowed out and are showing that they are different styled learners as well. One girl an dI are having the same problem which makes me laugh. We are "learn by doing" and tend to just figure it out while doing the work. It is really difficult to actually have to slow down and follow the directions hahahaha.

I was able to visit my grandparents on Monday. I do believe my Grandmother doesn't even realize she was mad at me and said those things before. I can tell she goes in and out a bit. My grandfather is getting even more worried about my soul. He lectured me about going to church and that my kids need to go to church. As soon as possible.

Work has been crazy. We now have a program that does the employee schedule on its own. This is weird because now I have shifts that start at 15 til or 15 after and show as 5.25 hours with a .75 brake in between. Can you say pointless???? I knew you could. So I am at work for 5.25 hours but only get paid for 4. Seriously, just schedule me for 4 hours you idiot system.

So anyways, school is good, work is work, Grandma is losing it and.....................

It is what it is!

Monday, June 14, 2010

I can't think of a title for this

Okay so this has nothing to do with school other than the fact that this is my first day of classes and I am posting before I do work.

This Saturday I called my Grandparents to let them know the kids and I would be out next Friday for a long over due visit. When my Grandmother got on the phone she seemed cold and distant. She began telling me that my kids were going to be a waste of life unless they succeeded in school and became something. How basically I wasted it and was doing too little too late by going back to school now, but she was glad I was going back. I ignored it thinking she was probably tired or not feeling "up to snuff" as is so often the case now. The conversation moved on and I told them of the plans to see my Dad in July and that we were all excited and nervous about the drive. As I was going over the itinerary and method of transportation my Grandmother blurted out "I am mad at you and really offended that you called your father a "baby killer" the last time we talked!". She continued on about how what he did was important and that I should have respect for him no matter what. Yes, folks I was taken off guard and really confused.

My father was in the Vietnam war and had to do many things that some would frown on. However, these are things he had to do, he had to stay alive to come home to his new wife and child. I have never slighted him for his service in the military and do not judge him by any of the things he had to do there. If I was that person I would never have talked to him again. I am not that person and love my Dad so much.

So there I sat startled and dumbfounded by this accusation. I tried to defend myself and figure out where this came from. She said "You said it the last time we talked". I haven't really talked to my Grandmother in a few months as she has been ill and not able to come to the phone. I tend to converse with my Grandfather during my weekly calls. As the tears welled up in my eyes I tried to tell her I never have nor would say that and if I had said something even remotely like I in no way meant to nor meant anything I say about my Dad to be hurtful like that. In the process of my explanation she hung up. My Grandfather was still on the phone. I was in full tears and ready to throw up.

He was telling me he knew I didn't mean anything I said to be derogatory and that I had to understand that my Grandmother had a lot on her mind. Her brothers and sisters all have Alzheimer's and their kids were moving them around to different nursing homes etc. He said my Grandmother is really sick. I didn't think to ask if she had been to the Doctor and reviewed for Dementia. I couldn't think of anything, I was shocked. I just didn't understand where this attack came from. I told him that I would just call this Friday and see if she would want to see me then.

I called my sister and told her what happened. She said it would blow over and to just wait to hear from them.

So this makes me think and over process. Do I say things like that. Am I really a mean person? Is my Grandmother suffering the on-set of Dementia? Ha my favorite character on G.L.O.W. was named Dementia. Is this what the remaining years of her life going to be like? Do I really have my best interest in mind putting my family well-being before everything else in my life. All I want to do is go to her and set her mind at ease, but is there anything there to ease?

My Nana (Grandmoms mom) had Alzheimer and it was rough for everyone, especially her. I was just a little kid at the time, but I remember going to the home and singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her. She thought my sister and I were staff or some nice kids from a local school to sing to her. Sometimes she was angry and would be afraid of us. I am worried that this is an experience I will relive with my Grandmother. I sincerely hope not.

So it is what it is............ and I wish I could change it.

Friday, June 11, 2010

My Books Have Arrived!!!

Yesterday afternoon as I was getting ready to go to work there was a ring at the door and a man yelled "Delivery!".

My books have arrived. I tore into them like a child opening a Christmas gift. Two books a CD-ROM and the instructions to log in for my first class! I being the over achiever have already begun reading the Strategies for the Tech Pro. Ive already browsed through the Tech Book for Office. Classes do not start until Monday the 14th.

I a definitely fired up. The course book I started reading is great! The entire first chapter is on goal setting and self esteem which I think is something I need to work on. I have never reviewed anything about my feelings or goals. I actually wrote them out. I think it was a good thing to reflect on where I have been and where I am going.

I have found that I am reliable, trustworthy, dependable, responsible, outspoken, giving and a little open. I need to work on some of it and will everyday.


Life is good right now. Work is amazing, I am busy and appreciated there. I have been told I may go to full time over the summer. I told them not just yet due to my traveling this summer to my Dad's in Silver City, Nevada.

Yes folks I am actually going to step outside the comfort zone and leave my house for something other than work. I will be sure to post pictures of my travels and tell this blog and the one reader I have all about the fun exploits the girls and I get into. We are driving there! Maybe take the scenic route and make a couple of stops for fun at the tourist traps.

Today was the last day of school for A and C. They are excited and relieved and happy to have the rest. It's been a tumultuous year for C. The transition to high school has not been an easy one on her. But we addressed the issues and are moving forward.

A has had an amazing year and has been working hard. Her teacher told me today that is has been wonderful having A in her class and helping her on her journey in life. She has gone from a semi-trouble confused little girl to a self-confident and intelligent person. She has made friends and been able to keep them for the first time. She has had sleep overs and is even spending the night at a friends tonight!

R is working harder than ever! He has really proved himself at the Plant and continues to do so every day. On weekends he has been working at his friends as a trade for a Chevy wagon for me. (long story about why I am getting a Chevy Wagon but it solves a bone of issue within my family). He is hoping that I will be able to drive it when I go see my Dad in July.

Life is good and it is what it is......

Monday, May 31, 2010

Getting Closer!

I am so excited. I have received my acceptance letter from school!

I am all set for the current spring courses I will be taking. Accounting Software and Accounting Principals. I have the feeling I will be doing a ton of reading for these. I am keeping a look out for my text books to come in the mail.

Oh right, did I mention that I am taking these courses on-line? Yep Distance Education. I love it! I can get my A.A. and not worry about rushing to class on time, sitting next to a person who lacks hygiene or bodily control. (Yes in high school I sat behind the guy who loved the bean burritos)







So I still have two weeks before the courses begin. I am biting at the bit and looking at my calender urging it to move faster. Similar to Veruca Salt in "Willy Wonka" 2008 edition movie "Daddy, make time move faster!".

But alas, this is not a movie and I am not her.



So here I am biding my time between the kiddies, World of Warcraft and crocheting a 1920's style bead spread. I got the pattern from the following site. Bridal Ring Crochet Beadspread  Thus far I have 10 across of the squares. I can do about one a day and they are pretty and will look very nice all together I think.



Oh and here is another site I use to find patterns The Crochet Pattern Shed They have a large amount of old patterns for just about everything.



So it is what it is and I await the beginning of my education.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Going Back to School

Its been an interesting few days. I have had some serious thoughts about life and what I am doing in it.

My C is failing all of her classes. I don't understand why. She is a freshman in high school. I remember my years and know that it is a rough transition. But she has always been my stable, level headed girl. Due to some of her actions I have met with her counselor, had her cleared by a psychiatrist and we are moving forward. I don't want to go into details, but it was a sad and disappointing thing. It made me think a lot.

Okay so here it is, a little bit about me and my current endeavors.

I am 38 as of May 16th. I have a G.E.D. and a certificate in Travel and Tourism. I never followed through with finding a job in the travel industry. I spent 5 years in accounting, 10 in retail, 4 in education and 5 in support staff (coffee sure I will get it for you). I don't believe that it is a really good example other than the fact that I am one of the few out there who believes in having a job and being the best at it.

So here I am, 38, two kids, a home and a somewhat decent life I suppose. I am going back to school to get my A.A. in Accounting!

I am not doing this in a brick and mortar establishment but online. I think it is going to be interesting to say the least. Thus far I have completed the orientation and its pretty neat. I have had some correspondence with the instructor and he is nice too! Responds quickly.

My official start date will be June 17th. I can't wait and am excited and scared at the same time.

So in closing this blog will now be about the adventures of a slightly north of middle aged mom who is trying to raise her family, work part time and get her degree. I am sure it will be laughable in spots and annoying in others.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

No one reads this

Okay so I am realizing no one reads this but my mother hahahaha. My mother is my only follower on here. I laugh because my mother has been reading my stories and following me around my whole life. It's not so much a cat and mouse thing but more of a catching-up thing.

I tend to only show one emotion, anger. All the others I suppress deep down inside until one day I go nuts, shave my head and beat up a car with an umbrella.....oh wait that's right that is Brittany Spears......

Any ways since no one really reads this I am going to copy and paste an old blog from another site to here so she can laugh a little.


Why do people insist on sitting practically on top of me while I am browsing my internet stuff? Why is it that any little laugh out of me is an automatic invite to come see what I am doing? Why do they have a comment about every little thing. If you are really that disgusted go away and leave me to it.
Not only that but why is that the time you suddenly have important things to discuss? Just 30 minuets ago I was sitting here bored.....nope no one wanted to talk to me then. No now that I am acutaly doing something you want to be near me and chit-chat and blather on and on about nothing!!!
My mom doesn't come to the house but calls. When she calls she can tell I'm into other things and not listening. She doesn't care. She says "Your busy I will let you go, call me later.". She can tell that over the phone......why the hell can't a person in the same room as me notice it? And why do they get all bent out of shape when I don't respond to the nonsense......seriously if I'm doing something I am most likely not listening to you.
Anyway that was my rant.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What I am.

So my birthday was on Sunday. I am 38. I am old.

No, no, I know 38 is a young whippersnapper age to a lot of people. However, regardless of what you say I feel old. No matter how many times you say I am young and look great, I feel old. 38 years seems like it went by quickly, the next 38 will go even faster I am sure.

I tend to relate more to my grandparents and parents than most people my own age. I know more about alzheimer's, shingles, sinuses, and hip replacement and cancer than someone my age should. My grandpa Sam was is and always will be the best friend I ever had.

So here is a brief list of why I should consider myself old:

I believe in good honest hard work for a days wage. Not just making a fast easy buck.

I prefer to knit or crochet on a Friday night instead of partying like so many of my peers. I have made many doilies, scarfs and blankets.

I like old music, and, no I don't mean the Rolling Stones. I am talking about Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Artie Shaw to name a few.

I love old movies. The Thin Man, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Gold Diggers of 1949.

I still believe a boy should come to the door and not honk the horn. He should spend no less than 1/2 an hour talking, or rather being interviewed by my husband on life, his future plans and the evenings plans.

I believe a good education is important and college a necessity. You can't just flit through and "hope for the best". Book learning is an awesome thing and books smell good to me.

I believe family is the most important thing you will ever have. They are not someone to just feed you for 18 years and then off you go. Without a good solid foundation your house will crumble, your family is that foundation.

I know what a Panzer is and what a P-26 peashooter is. I know why there are two dog tags.

I know too much about the depression and what a bread line is.

So have I established that I am old? Probably not. Why? Because I did not live during the times when many of the things above were around. I learned from listening to my parents and grandparents. I took in all the old stories, watched the movies with them, listened to those songs.

Here is the real reason I am old. I have the ability to listen and care and learn from others mistakes and experiences. This is an art that is dieing with my generation. Today people don't listen. People hear things without really taking the information in. There is no "processing" of the information. Quite literally it goes "in one ear and out the other". There is no desire to learn. They have the attention span of a gnat. Instant gratification is the preferred form of acquiring things, forget how and why, just gimme, gimme, gimme. There is no respect for elders and the wisdom they can impart. Now a days if you get old and become a burden (weather real or imagined) your family dumps you in a home and spends a half hour once a month visiting and not listening to you.

I like learning about what people have to say. I like getting my pay check and knowing I earned it and worked for it. I like seeing my grandparents and hearing what life dealt out for them and the stories of train rides and adventures in Long Beach. I like my mom's quirky looks and behavior and chit-chat. I like that my dad is a stubborn old man who only wants the best for me and will nag at me until he is satisfied I have heard him clearly. I like old things, people and places and I am proud when my child points out readily that I am a in the same class as them.

So I shout it with pride "I am old!". I am "The Bees Knees", "The Cats Pajamas", and how!

It is what it is and, to quote the great Sailor Popeye, "I yam what I yam.".

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

You Say It's Your Birthday

Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, It's my birthday too yeah!

Okay not really, my birthday is this Sunday. I will be 38.

Soooo my birthday gift was a wonderful visit to the Temecula DMV. Wow what an unthoughtful gift from the State Department of Motor Vehicles. Nope I couldn't renew online. They wanted to make sure I was real and get another unflattering picture and another thumb print.

I checked on-line this morning to see what the wait was before leaving. It said 14 minuets. LIARS!!!! I got there at 9:30am. Waited in line for half an hour and then got a ticket stamped 10:03. So I sat.

I met a couple of interesting people and saw a lot of people applying for their first license. One lady was telling me how she flipped cars on ebay. No she dosn't physically flip cars. She buys crap cars on the cheap and then sells them for 2x the cost on ebay. Apparently she is making pretty good money. She has goats and a turkey and chickens and horses. Yep it's amazing the things you tell people when you are bored.

G037.......G037 to window 14.....

I am G067.....dang it got a long ways to go.

One gentleman explained that it was all Arnolds fault. He spent too much on stupid projects instead of on new DMV offices with more parking and more employees. It's Arnold's fault that we are at war, have high taxes, bad schools etc. I thought he might get out a crate and stand on it and start preaching to the masses.

B026.........B026 to window 3....... and he was gone.

Next random stranger please. He was a recovering crack addict. I say recovering but honestly I don't think so. He talked about what was going on as if he liked it. Homeless for a few years, rehab, old friends, missing friends etc. I felt bad for him. He didn't look like an addict. He was in dockers and a white button down, he looked like he had a job.

G066.......G066 to window 12

Yay no one is talking to me now. I am the next number woot!

What the heck, why is that dad taking his kids drivers test? Seriously does no one monitor this thing or is it just a formality now?

So after two hours I was called G067 to window 14. I did it! I actually got up and said "Bingo!". Pretty much everyone laughed.

Pay the lady, sign my name, go stand in line for my picture etc.

So it wasn't so bad. It was kind of interesting. I am amazed what people will tell complete strangers about their lives. I wonder why strangers tell me about their lives. I never thought of myself as a friendly open person. Maybe because I don't say much they just keep talking?

That was my day. In 6 weeks I will have a new license with a weird picture and hopefully when it is to be renewed all I will have to do is go online.

Oh, my birthday present to me this year? I am returning to school to get my A.A. I thought I was too old to go back but I guess not. I think it's about time. So 2 years from now I will be able to show employers a piece of paper to back up the fact that yes, I do know accounting.

Boring blog sorry. But it is what it is.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What Thursday

So this morning I awoke, and laid in bed for a bit. I dread Thursday. Okay so not every Thursday but most of them. See my husband gets paid every-other-Thursday and this Thursday is that pay day.

Pay day should be awesome right? Wrong its also bill-paying-day. You know the Family Circle Cartoon they did about bill-paying-day. Well, just replace the dad with me. I am the family accountant and I hate it. "Ohhhh look at all the money you made, oh wait, nope it all goes to bills".

Oh well.

Walking out of the bedroom I realized something disgusting.....my cat was stomach sick. I don't believe I need to elaborate on that, I'm sure you get it. Sooo paper towels, swifter, swifter wet. Done. Well at least I don't have to do it right after bills.

Next get online and pay the bills. Lights will stay on and I will have a bazillion channels of junk to watch and unlimeted texting for another month. Oh and let's not forget the mortgage, yep I seriously almost did hahaha. Yay roof over head for another month.

"Gurggle Gurggle" says the stomach. Food, so I get into the kitchen and realized it is also grocery day. This isn't so bad tho. I like grocery shopping. I get to pick out the food and force everyone else in the house to eat it hahaha. Spinach is not a favorite for anyone but me teeheee.

I showered, dressed and off I went. Its hot out......hope the bed of the truck dosn't turn into a make shift hibachi.

I love the grocery store I use. It's called Fresh & Easy and it is exactly that. I go in grab what I need and out the door I go. I have it down to 45 minuets at the most. At Fresh & Easy you bag your own groceries. No waiting for some pimply faced teen to slowly bag your stuff and happily put the bread under a watermelon hahaha. Don't get me wrong, if you need help bagging or have a question there is always a friendly face to help! But in doing that on my own it goes faster and I can make sure the eggs and bread are not french toast by the time I walk out the door. (french toast sounds really good right now hahaha).

On the way home from the store I then realized that my youngest has no money on her lunch account, as a matter of fact she is over drawn. Grrrr, its 1st Grades mothers day party. Packed parking lot, hot, parents who aren't paying attention. Yep all that was in order. "I really hope the food isn't cooking in the bed of the truck...". 10 minuets later back in truck, more unattentive parents and missed a kid running into the street by thismuch.

Back in driveway. "Don't hit the garage fool". Look in the bed of the truck and find a few of my groceries on the bare hot bed. Dang it! Oh well at least it wasn't the meat, just the cream cheese. Unload, put away annnnd done!

So here it is 12:37 pm, 74 degrees and I am done with the day. House is clean, bills paid (whew) and groceries put away. Time to relax with my bazillion channels of blather and nonsense. No work tonight and no kids for 2 hours.

So maybe Thursday isn't so bad. I am sure it could be worse. I think it has been worse. Like the Thursday I couldn't pay all the bills and didn't have groceries. So I guess I shouldn't complain about Thursday, it could be that way again. So I am changing my mind about Thursday for now, it is a good day!

Hope you all have a great Thursday!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Its still cold here?!?

The title is a bit missleading. I am actually sitting in my house with it all open and its warmer outside than in here. Go figure....vaulted ceilings are awful. Time for the best sox ever!



Well its been an interesting week. Tuesday I went to my dentist in Laguna Beach. Yes I drive over an hour on Ortega Highway just to see my dentist. If you knew my dentist and his amazing practice you would too. I only needed just a cleaning. On the downside I get migraines from cleanings as it exacerbates my sinuses to no end. On the plus side A did great. She got two fillings and didn't cry or put up a fuss or anything! I am very proud.

So the dentist is amazing. He is in a part of Laguna that has the best views!

The waves were super choppy. The wind was crazy but it made the ocean beautiful!

After the dentist I went to the gallery to drop off some new pieces I had worked on the week before. I am still working on the one center master piece for the show on the 20th but seem to have a creative block. I see it in my mind but can't seem to get it out as a tangible item. Figures. So here is the stuff I did and dropped off.












I don't know how well they will go over. There were some others but I haven't uploaded them to my computer sooooo no pictures. My mom said they were perfect for the new spring line I am getting together so there is a YAY!. Oh and no, mother is not bias just because I am her kid. She has rejected many things that are too heavy or "just not right" for her client base. It's an art gallery so ya know....picky picky.

I did get a really good picture of the ocean from the gallery front window! I wish it could be a house again and I could afford to buy it. The view is fantastic even with the other buildings and street signs in the way. The picture doesn't represent it very well.

But that was my Tuesday. Lots of driving, a migraine and pretty views. Thankfully I had yesterday off to recoup. I spent it in bed with all the blinds closed and lots of sinus medicine. I feel better today and of course it's "bill paying day". I always feel great on days when I wish I were sick hahahaha. It is what it is.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Some Ramblings of Boredom

So its been a bit. Things are going pretty well! I have been playing on World of Warcraft a lot! Its pretty fun and a good waste of time. I can also get my laundry done while playing.I play mostly on Sisters of Elune as KayteaCooper. Just in case you ever wanna kill murlocks or something with me! :)



I've been waiting to get Bioshock 2 because at this point I don't wanna pay the price they want for it. Hopefully GameFly will send it soon. R has been playing Dantes Inferno and Need For Speed. I haven't tried either of them yet.


A has gotten an award in school for reading and writing. This is a huge accomplishment since she has ADHD. The new medication is awesome and she is doing really well. It doesn't make her a zombie, she is still my quirky kid but more focused and organized.She is a happy camper.

So the quitting smoking didn't go so well. I issues keeping the patches on and had to do this to keep them on:


Yeah it didn't last long. But R had issues with it too.

C made the J.V. swim team. Its an awesome thing. In her time trials she placed 2nd and 3rd. Yay!

G is my niece. We have helped raise her off and on for 5yrs. She was here for a weekend and gone again. Apparently our rules are too much for her to deal with. I don't know but at 19 I think you should be held accountable for the stupid stuff you do.....not to mention she has a 2yr old that she doesn't ever see or even take care of. But ya know I'm and old person and know nothing about life. It is what it is right?!?

So R just sat down on the couch with me to play Need For Speed and I am already annoyed. So I'm off. Maybe some funny stuff next posting.

Friday, February 12, 2010

I messed up a bit

I have been trying to quit smoking for some time now. I am using the patch which works if you use it right.

The thing is....... I forgot to put it on for two days straight. The first day was kinda okay but I smoked a 1/2 a cigarette. Then day two. I actually smoked a butt that I found on the top of the trash. Can you say disgusting???? I can.

I have put on a new patch. I am keeping busy cleaning the house and plan to do a bunch of baking and stuff to keep busy.

I am also going to go to the bead store so I can start making jewelry again. That was a good outlet for me and I can sell the items at my moms art gallery www.theestherwellscollection.com (yes I just name dropped hahaha).

So I am back to getting smoke free and starting where I left off.

Brownies sound good oh and I think I am gonna make some cupcakes with pretty stuff on them since I have an icing decorator thing I havent used yet. I have had some renewed inspiration thanks to Pat at  Back Porch Musings. She is a must visit site!!!! I wish I could create like here. Puts me in awe.


So anyways back to quitting smoking. Its gonna happen and I know I can do it!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Isn't It

It's been an interesting week. You see its been quite a long time since I have been a stay-at-home-mom. Its a little off-putting for me. I am feeling completely useless. My kids are gone for six hours out of the day and it honestly doesn't take that long to clean a house.

I am a bit concerned with how things are going. I feel a little sad that I spend alot of time doing nothing but stare at the walls while the family is gone. My kids are a bit older and really don't need me as much as one would think. They are also pretty responsible and wash their own clothes and dishes and don't have to be told when to do the things that they need to do.

I feel bad because my husband works his derriere off 10 hours a day and I sit and decide what is for dinner and that takes maybe 10 min. at most.

Yeah I work at one of the Marts at night for a whopping 4 hours 3-4 days a week but honestly its not that difficult of a job. Then I sit here and try to think of things to write about on this blog and wow this is the dribble my brain produces?

My cats are seriously becoming my best friends. Nope not complaining about that one as I am not particularly interested in making a ton of friends that want to arrange "play dates" and shopping trips or exchange coupons.

That was something I did the first time I was a stay-at-home-mom and it was the pits. All the women that I came in contact with were more worried about shopping, saving money so they could shop and how the world saw their family vs. how it really was than anything else. Hmmm really silly.
Seriously, these people had the craziest kids but the moms just walked around like everything was perfect and just kept throwing money and material things at the kids. Sad really. I know I am not the perfect mom by any means but wow, if my kid was being a rotten bitch to me I sooo would not buy her something to make her like me.......weird.

And OMG there was one that felt it was okay if she drank vodka all day as long as her kids thought it was water and any time her kids wanted to stay home....yeah that was fine with her. She actually encourages her son to ditch school. Her daughter and mine are best friends. Anytime her daughter talks about college she is told she is too stupid or that there is no money so why bother. Then the mom blames my daughter for being a "bad influence" because she is going to college.......seriously this woman is a nut case. Yep that is what you get in the burbs.
So there it is, the ramblings I promised.......I think my brain is being dumb today.

Ooop*** Random Picture C & A

Saturday, January 30, 2010

It's Saturday. I love Saturday because you are done with work and week days and the next day is Sunday and you don't have to do anything that day either.

I worked from 9-1 today. The morning shift is amazing. The store is quiet and clean and organized. Not like the night shift when I spend all my time between freaky customers and re-organizing the health and beauty department.

The bad part? My opening CSR had never done the job before and therefore nothing was done. She couldn't even manage a simple exchange......weird right. Then the girl who was to come in an hour after me did, but proceeded to do just about everything in her power to not run her register. No break for me.

Do I really care though? Nope! I love this job because its only 4 hrs. 3 days. I actually got off work today and went to the pet store and got neat stuff for the cats and hamster. I had lunch and here I am with nothing noteworthy to do. A &  R are playing video games, C is cleaning her room and me......I am content. Weird to be happy doing nothing at all.


Byes

Friday, January 29, 2010

Hmmm apparently I am totally rusty at blogging

So I have been perusing the blogs of others and have found out a few things.
1. I don't take enough pictures of my kids doing cute things.


I worry about posting too many pictures of my just oh so adorable babes as they do activities mostly through school and God forbid I get the school logo in there and then one day C or A dosn't come home and bam it's all my fault due to one lousy snap-shot......... okay so yeah I do need to take more pictures of fun stuff to write about I can always use my handy photo editing skillz to fix logos etc.

2. I really need to do more fun stuff with the family.


K we actually do "fun stuff" like right now A is happy watching hubby R kick butt on an xbox 360 game and eating desert. A is 9 R is 37 and they tend to act 13 when its game time.

3. My use of the standard offered templates are not enough.


Okay I fixed that. I like the new uploaded template well enough but I don't drink coffee so we will consider the stuff in the cup at above right to be tea okay? Okay!

4. Just talking about the cute pets means nothing....pictures are a must!


AGAIN see 1 above. Yes I promise you well get tons more cute pics etc of the pets and family!

So for now I am done posting. There will certainly be a new post tomorrow as I work at the "mart" (yep you figure out which one) for 4 hours. Let the sale madness begin!

Oh but in the mean time here is a picture of me and Cheshire (my sister) at Disneyland for her B-Day in December. Please don't kidnap her hahahahahaha.

Neat


So this is my first Blogger blog. Its interesting. I used to host my own blog but........well the tools to create it and the hassle of uploading and re-doing stuff just got to be to much.

So this should be fun. More fun than last week when I had the flu and couldn't get out of bed.

We will see how it goes as things go around here.

Can't wait to share random stupid stuff!!!!!